Making the Right Choice for my Body

How to listen to your body when you want to be stubborn and push harder

courtashworth

6/1/2022 4 min read

I know I was not the only one who had a rough past month. I’ve talked with so many of you who experienced either yourself or a family member struggling to fight some nasty germs at some point in the month of May. Plus, May 16 brought a HEAVY lunar eclipse on the south node in Scorpio. And thus we faced some interesting times as a country (yes, I believe recent current events are a mirror of the astrology – check out the Chani Podcast if you want to learn more about that, and let me know if you do so we can chat about it).

Alas, we are entering a new month, with new germs and new astrology. My sincere hope is that both are a bit lighter this month (I can tell you at least the full moon on June 14 in Sagittarius should be a particularly supportive one, and more to come on this but I am considering a gathering for this moon, respond to this email if you already know you might be interested).

Okay on to my message for today … I debated the past couple days if I wanted to share this with you all, but I am hearing that someone will find it supportive, so here we are.

On May 30, my gym family completed the annual famous Memorial Day WOD – “Murph” – which includes a mile run, 100 pull-ups, 200 push-ups, 300 squats, and another mile run. I have done some variation of this workout every year since starting CrossFit 7 years ago, minus 2019 because I was less than a month postpartum. And now minus 2022. I am bummed. If you know me, you know I not only love a nasty CrossFit workout, but I also LOVE being an American and this workout to me feels like the most patriotic way to honor Memorial Day.

Pausing my story for a quick shout out to any veterans or military family – I am beyond grateful to live in this country and for all of the freedoms we have; and recognize that this story is very much a #firstworldprob.

But as I shared above I spent most of May battling some type of bug – a respiratory bug at that making it difficult to breath. On top of that, as my body would heal my husband would get it. Later in the month my daughter was down for several days with a fever due to teething and wound up in our bed for a week. I lost more sleep this month than I have in the past year combined. My conditioning is currently shit. My nutrition and recovery are both currently shit.

Yet when I woke up on Memorial Day I felt ‘back to myself’ and quite strong. And I wanted to do it anyway. “Maybe I will scale it or just do a half Murph”, I thought. But that was a lie. I know me and I know if I showed up in that gym and warmed up with my friends, I would have pushed my body to do the whole damn thing. And I probably would have completed it just fine. And I would have proceeded right back to feeling like shit for another week and lost more time in the gym.

Side note: consistency is always better than one nasty workout. So hitting Murph hard and then being out for a few days or more, after having already missed so much time last month = NOT a good plan.

It took my husband to talk me off the ledge though. And you know what he said to me, “what would you tell a client? What would you tell our kids?”

Damn. He was right.

I talk all the time to anyone and everyone about listening to your body. And here I was not listening.

I still don’t have this intuition thing down perfectly. I am a work in progress just as we all are. I know what my body needs and yet I often still ignore/neglect her. I know I am doing SO much better since I started this journey, yet I still have a ways to go. And I don’t know if I will ever get “there” – where ever this magical “there” is.

But I know that taking an opportunity like this to not only listen and choose to put my stubborn ego aside and sit a damn workout out is a big step forward.

The next big piece is to ask myself:

How am I sitting with this choice?

Am I shaming myself for not doing the workout?

Am I holding resentment toward my body for not recovering faster?

Am I holding grief for my husband having to point it out to me?

No.

I’m sharing this story with you all because I know how old Courtney would have dealt with this, and perhaps that is where you are too. And maybe its not about Murph or any other workout, maybe you are battling with your body over something totally different.

I am here to tell you that culture and society have taught us to be at war with our bodies. They want us to push harder and strive more. Not only in the gym but in life. I don’t stand for this. As much as I may still be tempted to fall into the trap. It goes against everything I believe about how we are designed.

Not to get too philosophical, but it is my belief that we are each here on earth on a spiritual journey. And our bodies are our greatest tools. I believe in caring for our body with the love of a mother. I would never encourage my daughter to do a workout when she knew her body wasn’t prepared for it. Yet I wanted to do it myself.

This is why I am now working with a mother archetype energy when it comes to my own self-care. When it comes to the foods I’m eating, how I’m physically training, how I’m recovering and resting, I am constantly going back to this question: how would I as a mom guide me to care for myself?

If this resonates for you, please share this message with a friend and email me at courtashworth@outlook.com to let me know.

If you are ready to give up the war against your body and start caring for your body as a mother would, let’s set up a time to have a conversation about it!

Wishing you so many blessings in the month of June, stay tuned for info about a full moon connection call, or email me to let me know you are curious about it!

murph, crossfit, crossfit mom, rest, recovery, nutrition